Post by Kon on Jul 15, 2010 0:31:56 GMT -5
Deep in a dark, dank and otherwise rather terrible cellar lurks on man...well not really a man more of a freaky bird man that's green but that's beside the point, anyways this bird guy is working away the night trying to fix his board because this bitch wouldn't fix it for the 50th time. And that fucking bitch wouldn't even go in the kitchen for him, so he had to go slice his own cheese while planes crashed around him. Can you believe that? Such a stuck up whore, but that doesn't really matter so let's get back to the matter at hand shall we? You see this green bird well he's a hawk and his name is Jet by the way, he was working on his board and then suddenly it snapped in half and that pissed him off so he threw it out the window because you see he was suddenly on the top floor so he broke that window with the board and then it landed on a blue hedgehog and he died.
"What the fuck man, that was my last EXTREME gear or whatever the hell you call them! I don't want your blood on this sexy wondrous contraption, I don't want anyone's blood on it!Except my own but only because it will make that bitch Wave have to clean it! FUCK YOU SONIC."
After Jet had uttered these words he proceeded to jump out the window like some kind of badass as he flew down somehow because he's a birds and birds can fly right? So anyways he was flying down or something when he came acrossed the ground and then he landed and walked up to Sonic's corpse and poked it. And then it didn't move since it was a corpse so Jet picked it up and threw it in the garbage because hey fuck you Sonic this is my yard fuck off bitch. So anyways after Jet had finished disposing of the body he went to see his best friend who was like this purple cat named Big. And they got along real well because Jet loved purple cats named Big so anyways Jet was going to Big's house and then he knocked and Big opened the door and was all.
"Oh hey Jet I was waiting all day to see you so you see I started a fappan away because I didn't think I would ever see you again."
And then Jet was all.
"but why big"
ANd then Big was all
"Because you see my mother was grocery shopping and then I flew to the doctor to say hi and he said I only have one week left to live so I started crying and then Froggy started crying. But then the doctor was all 'wait I'm mistaken you only have 3 days to live srry bro hope you didn't have any plans so fuck you' so I left and then came here and fapped and and then waited for you so we could party... did you get all of that"
but then Jet was badass so he didn't listen so he said
"tl;dl"
But Big didn't get mad at Jet because he knew Jet was a very busy guy so he took it to mean that he was very busy and maybe angryish. So then Big was like 'hey bro wanna go get sum ice creem' and then Jet was all 'fuck yea bro' and den they wented to got the ice cream so you see they ate it and came back to that spot. and Big was all 'so what do we do now' and Jet was all 'i dunno what do you want to do' and Big was all 'i dunno what do you want to do' and then Jet had an idea and said 'lets go visit tails and egg his house' and Big was all 'okay'
So you see they went to Tails' house and then egged it and then Tails walked out and was all 'what are you guys doing at my house' and den they said they were egging it and then Tails pulled out something dangerous looking. and then it turned out it was a shotgun which scared big and jet so they hided and then Tails started shooting at them and they randed and he chasded.
WILL OUR HEROES EVER ESCAPE THE FOUL CLUTCHES OF TAILS THE TWO EYED FOX? WILL BIG FIND A CURE FOR HIS MYSTERIOUS DISEASE? WILL JET FIX THAT GODDAMN EXTREME GEAR? AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION OF ALL...WILL JET CURE THAT SEVERE CASE OF CRABS HE HAS?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR
'THE BIG AND JET SHOW'!!!!
"What the fuck man, that was my last EXTREME gear or whatever the hell you call them! I don't want your blood on this sexy wondrous contraption, I don't want anyone's blood on it!Except my own but only because it will make that bitch Wave have to clean it! FUCK YOU SONIC."
After Jet had uttered these words he proceeded to jump out the window like some kind of badass as he flew down somehow because he's a birds and birds can fly right? So anyways he was flying down or something when he came acrossed the ground and then he landed and walked up to Sonic's corpse and poked it. And then it didn't move since it was a corpse so Jet picked it up and threw it in the garbage because hey fuck you Sonic this is my yard fuck off bitch. So anyways after Jet had finished disposing of the body he went to see his best friend who was like this purple cat named Big. And they got along real well because Jet loved purple cats named Big so anyways Jet was going to Big's house and then he knocked and Big opened the door and was all.
"Oh hey Jet I was waiting all day to see you so you see I started a fappan away because I didn't think I would ever see you again."
And then Jet was all.
"but why big"
ANd then Big was all
"Because you see my mother was grocery shopping and then I flew to the doctor to say hi and he said I only have one week left to live so I started crying and then Froggy started crying. But then the doctor was all 'wait I'm mistaken you only have 3 days to live srry bro hope you didn't have any plans so fuck you' so I left and then came here and fapped and and then waited for you so we could party... did you get all of that"
but then Jet was badass so he didn't listen so he said
"tl;dl"
But Big didn't get mad at Jet because he knew Jet was a very busy guy so he took it to mean that he was very busy and maybe angryish. So then Big was like 'hey bro wanna go get sum ice creem' and then Jet was all 'fuck yea bro' and den they wented to got the ice cream so you see they ate it and came back to that spot. and Big was all 'so what do we do now' and Jet was all 'i dunno what do you want to do' and Big was all 'i dunno what do you want to do' and then Jet had an idea and said 'lets go visit tails and egg his house' and Big was all 'okay'
So you see they went to Tails' house and then egged it and then Tails walked out and was all 'what are you guys doing at my house' and den they said they were egging it and then Tails pulled out something dangerous looking. and then it turned out it was a shotgun which scared big and jet so they hided and then Tails started shooting at them and they randed and he chasded.
WILL OUR HEROES EVER ESCAPE THE FOUL CLUTCHES OF TAILS THE TWO EYED FOX? WILL BIG FIND A CURE FOR HIS MYSTERIOUS DISEASE? WILL JET FIX THAT GODDAMN EXTREME GEAR? AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION OF ALL...WILL JET CURE THAT SEVERE CASE OF CRABS HE HAS?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR
'THE BIG AND JET SHOW'!!!!